As soon as I decided to call Austin home, the place slipped away from me. I was hesitant to name it in the first place, as my situation seemed surreal. It is teaching me a lesson in grabbing what you want; it might not be there tomorrow.
One day last August, I am managing our business at the train station and the next I am sweeping a vacant storefront full of dust bunnies. A storefront left empty when our landlords cleared the 543 square feet of our equipment and inventory. They thought that would be the best way to procure their past due rent.
The resulting lawsuit between our two parties held most of my Fall days hostage. Then, before I knew it, I was settled and sipping coffee in Jenny’s backyard on a balmy 60 degree day in December. I really thought I had found my shangri la, but I didn't do anything to make it permanent.
And now time is pressing on me, as my contract expires at the Foundation in December, and I haven’t had much luck securing other work here in Austin. That means I need to expand my job search to incorporate Chicago as well. I am ambivalent about it, since Chicago and I didn’t leave on such good terms. Chicago and I have a relationship like an old married couple who get sick of each other and require a break. It's usually once every ten years.
If needed, I hope we can reconcile. The last time I was in Chicago, things had changed. I noticed I didn’t fit in like I used to. The people seemed more up tight and aggressive then I remember. In Austin, I became accustomed to walking into a restaurant for brunch and being able to find a seat immediately, a 20-minute commute to work and basically a slower pace of life.
Chicago has my friends and family and familiarity. I would look forward to that recognition. That is something I am missing here.
Austin has gotten me a few steps closer to the shiny self I used to be, but Chicago will always be home. My goal, where ever I end up is to find my shiny self. I will be opening up my fate to both cities and we can see who comes out on top.
