thinking versus doing

I am back on the hunt again. The job hunt. My current gig as Communications Coordinator is ending on August 31st. I had hoped when I took the role it would lead to a permanent position at the foundation, but due to budget constraints, that does not seem possible. The good news is that I believe I am a leg up from my previous stint as a job seeker, getting more experience in a field I was interested in and two new references with connections. Both the deputy Director of Communications and the Director are happy to spread the word about my goodness wherever I need an extra boost.

Now my focus needs to be on where I need the boost. I applied for this Account Services Director job last week, and followed up with a voice mail to Linda Powers in HR at Charity Dynamics. Let’s see what that will yield.

The truth is - I need to figure out my goals, and I know I am underemployed here and I am looking for a new role that is more about acting then reacting and more thinking and strategizing then the logistics of doing. At work here I find the doers are the ones made to keep the thinkers on track and organized. On track and organized with travel arrangements and meeting schedules, ordering coffee, drafting correspondence and such. I could have a long career doing things well. Many people making solid livings doing, waitresses, truckers, programmers, executive assistants, and such. They put into action the requests of others. I am a happy doer, and it is so easy. I have decided I would rather be thinking. My mourning period for Entrees By You is over, and the last few months of organizing and taking directions and exceeding expectations have helped me through the transition. Last year at this time, I was thinking sooo much, for so long as a small business owner. And then one day – I was an unemployed, former small business owner. The loss of the business, and our unfulfilled dreams will always sting, but my brain is ready for more challenging work.

Roasting and blisters - a terrible way to die

As a yankee in these Southern parts, I can't get used to how powerful the sun is here. I understand it logically - it's the Southern hemisphere and all - and I hear the weatherman say it will be 95 degrees. But what doesn't register is how - 95 degrees here in Austin is different then 95 degrees in Chicago.

I don't know how - but it is. I also don't know how I was lured outside today for an hour long, lunchtime stroll by my imaginary "sun sirens". They speak to me as I sit literally chilling with a scarf wrapped around me in my air-conditioned cube, mentally spent from shuffling around papers and "coordinating communication".

They know I still cling to the Chicago mentality that drives a person outside at the sight of any sunny and warm looking day to relish in the full glory the Northern summer season. And from the window today - it did look bright and sunny.

But it was a trick. The type of trick that is the polar opposite effect of what happens on a bright and sunny Northern winter day. When the thermometer reads 20 degrees and the snow sirens call you outside, because you can't believe that is accruate. The first minute is pleasant, but then your neck tenses from the chill and your eyes water from the cold while your nose immediately runs like a faucet. That sucks. But it doesn't scare me - like my heat exposure did today.

I decided to unwrap my scarf and take a quick walk to the library about a mile away. It was pleasant for about 2 minutes and then I felt like I was trapped in an oven. But I was determined to make my lunch productive and return the five DVDs I borrowed, so I opened my umbrella to shield the sun and continued my trek.

Three quarters of the way there the first trickle of sweat run down my back, and I could feel my hair lift up towards the sky in frizzy waves. I made it to the library, but in Austin the library is full of wackos, and I don't mean homeless people - just demanding, crazy people who look conventional, until they speak.

Anyway - the wackos in the check out line at the library made me want to leave, so I drank some water and trotted out of there like I had just been given fresh horses. That lasted 2 blocks. I had 10 more to go. The bus never came for me, so by the time I arrived back at work I had blisters from wearing non-sensible shoes, a head of hair so delicate one touch would release the river of sweat damned up by the make shift "curls" that took shape as my hair started to frizz (that is when I know I am overheated - my head sweats and not just at my temples) my shirt was damp and my face was red. Tomato red.

I literally almost roasted myself today because some silly voices whispered to me how good the sun would feel on my skin. Next time I will know better.

Cleaniness is next to procrastination

Here is my clean room! I distracted myself from my writing time this morning by cleaning and reorganizing the room after finding a used night stand at a yard sale down my street. Thank you universe! Now my room is clean and feels much larger without the bulky, coffee table Jenny lent me in a pinch as a make-shift night stand. Now I have my own. A room of my own and my own $10 night stand.

I plan to reenter the work force soon as an adult, with adult responsibilities and a big girl pay check. Until then - I am super stoked about solving my space and storage problem conveniently for $10.

I added a close up - so you could see the what a quality bargain I got.

Rainy days, Mondays and ...

holidays in a different cities then my family and friends, always bring me down. Cue the Carpenters. I miss you guys.

Looking forward to this work week ending, and I have to do some pretty serious thinking about where I will be searching for my next job. Sometimes, that is the worst part of your next phase - choosing the your path or destination.

Coincidentally - yesterday, in the waiting area of the chiropracter's office I picked up the original Chicken Soup for the Soul as I sat before my appointment. There was a story about a Girl Scout who was being raised by a single mom, and all she wanted to win was the trip around the world for her mom by being the Scout who sold the most cookies that year. (It's been a long time - but I think our prizes were either a Light Brite or a Barbie Dream House) - really a trip around the world - very glamourous.

Anyway - the moral in that Chicken Soup story was the girl went out each day, dressed for success in her uniform and asked for the sales, she called them investments, each day until she won what she coveted.

So now I need to decide what I want, be honest about it and not chicken away from asking for help to get it. But first - decide what I want. Humm...
Ideas are reporter/photographer
Radio show host
Pantry possibilities host

I like people, helping people and finding out about them. So this is what I want to work that into the career. And I am remembering the feeling you get when you dapple in something that is your "true calling" per Martha Beck in Finding your Own North Star:Claiming the Life you were Meant to Live. Love that book and her.