thinking versus doing

I am back on the hunt again. The job hunt. My current gig as Communications Coordinator is ending on August 31st. I had hoped when I took the role it would lead to a permanent position at the foundation, but due to budget constraints, that does not seem possible. The good news is that I believe I am a leg up from my previous stint as a job seeker, getting more experience in a field I was interested in and two new references with connections. Both the deputy Director of Communications and the Director are happy to spread the word about my goodness wherever I need an extra boost.

Now my focus needs to be on where I need the boost. I applied for this Account Services Director job last week, and followed up with a voice mail to Linda Powers in HR at Charity Dynamics. Let’s see what that will yield.

The truth is - I need to figure out my goals, and I know I am underemployed here and I am looking for a new role that is more about acting then reacting and more thinking and strategizing then the logistics of doing. At work here I find the doers are the ones made to keep the thinkers on track and organized. On track and organized with travel arrangements and meeting schedules, ordering coffee, drafting correspondence and such. I could have a long career doing things well. Many people making solid livings doing, waitresses, truckers, programmers, executive assistants, and such. They put into action the requests of others. I am a happy doer, and it is so easy. I have decided I would rather be thinking. My mourning period for Entrees By You is over, and the last few months of organizing and taking directions and exceeding expectations have helped me through the transition. Last year at this time, I was thinking sooo much, for so long as a small business owner. And then one day – I was an unemployed, former small business owner. The loss of the business, and our unfulfilled dreams will always sting, but my brain is ready for more challenging work.

Roasting and blisters - a terrible way to die

As a yankee in these Southern parts, I can't get used to how powerful the sun is here. I understand it logically - it's the Southern hemisphere and all - and I hear the weatherman say it will be 95 degrees. But what doesn't register is how - 95 degrees here in Austin is different then 95 degrees in Chicago.

I don't know how - but it is. I also don't know how I was lured outside today for an hour long, lunchtime stroll by my imaginary "sun sirens". They speak to me as I sit literally chilling with a scarf wrapped around me in my air-conditioned cube, mentally spent from shuffling around papers and "coordinating communication".

They know I still cling to the Chicago mentality that drives a person outside at the sight of any sunny and warm looking day to relish in the full glory the Northern summer season. And from the window today - it did look bright and sunny.

But it was a trick. The type of trick that is the polar opposite effect of what happens on a bright and sunny Northern winter day. When the thermometer reads 20 degrees and the snow sirens call you outside, because you can't believe that is accruate. The first minute is pleasant, but then your neck tenses from the chill and your eyes water from the cold while your nose immediately runs like a faucet. That sucks. But it doesn't scare me - like my heat exposure did today.

I decided to unwrap my scarf and take a quick walk to the library about a mile away. It was pleasant for about 2 minutes and then I felt like I was trapped in an oven. But I was determined to make my lunch productive and return the five DVDs I borrowed, so I opened my umbrella to shield the sun and continued my trek.

Three quarters of the way there the first trickle of sweat run down my back, and I could feel my hair lift up towards the sky in frizzy waves. I made it to the library, but in Austin the library is full of wackos, and I don't mean homeless people - just demanding, crazy people who look conventional, until they speak.

Anyway - the wackos in the check out line at the library made me want to leave, so I drank some water and trotted out of there like I had just been given fresh horses. That lasted 2 blocks. I had 10 more to go. The bus never came for me, so by the time I arrived back at work I had blisters from wearing non-sensible shoes, a head of hair so delicate one touch would release the river of sweat damned up by the make shift "curls" that took shape as my hair started to frizz (that is when I know I am overheated - my head sweats and not just at my temples) my shirt was damp and my face was red. Tomato red.

I literally almost roasted myself today because some silly voices whispered to me how good the sun would feel on my skin. Next time I will know better.

Cleaniness is next to procrastination

Here is my clean room! I distracted myself from my writing time this morning by cleaning and reorganizing the room after finding a used night stand at a yard sale down my street. Thank you universe! Now my room is clean and feels much larger without the bulky, coffee table Jenny lent me in a pinch as a make-shift night stand. Now I have my own. A room of my own and my own $10 night stand.

I plan to reenter the work force soon as an adult, with adult responsibilities and a big girl pay check. Until then - I am super stoked about solving my space and storage problem conveniently for $10.

I added a close up - so you could see the what a quality bargain I got.

Rainy days, Mondays and ...

holidays in a different cities then my family and friends, always bring me down. Cue the Carpenters. I miss you guys.

Looking forward to this work week ending, and I have to do some pretty serious thinking about where I will be searching for my next job. Sometimes, that is the worst part of your next phase - choosing the your path or destination.

Coincidentally - yesterday, in the waiting area of the chiropracter's office I picked up the original Chicken Soup for the Soul as I sat before my appointment. There was a story about a Girl Scout who was being raised by a single mom, and all she wanted to win was the trip around the world for her mom by being the Scout who sold the most cookies that year. (It's been a long time - but I think our prizes were either a Light Brite or a Barbie Dream House) - really a trip around the world - very glamourous.

Anyway - the moral in that Chicken Soup story was the girl went out each day, dressed for success in her uniform and asked for the sales, she called them investments, each day until she won what she coveted.

So now I need to decide what I want, be honest about it and not chicken away from asking for help to get it. But first - decide what I want. Humm...
Ideas are reporter/photographer
Radio show host
Pantry possibilities host

I like people, helping people and finding out about them. So this is what I want to work that into the career. And I am remembering the feeling you get when you dapple in something that is your "true calling" per Martha Beck in Finding your Own North Star:Claiming the Life you were Meant to Live. Love that book and her.

How to not introduce yourself at your first team meeting…

Apparently, once a month at the foundation where I work in Austin, the whole 85-person team gets together for a team meeting to touch base about organizational goals, news and introductions. I am not too good on the fly, and was still feeling insecure about the fact that my boss told me I have to be labeled a volunteer and not a contract person, because of some all day budget meeting she was in the previous bad. So basically – no one is supposed to know I get paid.

So the drill is - I just work there 40 hours a week for free – as far as the 83 other people who are not my boss, or my boss’ boss know. It’s not what I interviewed for, and as she sprung this on me – she assured me it would get straightened out in a few weeks. But “that was then and this is now” (yes – through back reference to S.E. Hinton’s classic teenage novel) and basically I am trying to pick my battles here. Sometimes it is hard enough to slow my boss down to extract ALL the information I need for her requests without a sneer. I will weigh the benefits of nagging her about my public title as this role unfolds.
So – I am startled at my need to introduce myself, and I stumble and am insecure. Instead of taking the time to tell these professionals who can further my career opportunities anything interesting like:
• I am happy to help out in the press room, because I worked in the press office at the Smithsonian and enjoyed it
• I was a Central Region Operations manager for AT&T and am strategic
• I owned my own business for four years

I just plow through the standard bullshit the intern before said about where she was from and that she was new to Austin. Mine introduction went like this, “Hi, my name is Julie and I just relocated from Chicago and will be helping Rae and Katherine in the Communications department (thinking “sit down and let it be over”)

I need to take these situations and PUT ME FIRST! To start thinking about how talented I am and how lucky these people are to know me. I am not trying to oversell myself, just catch up. Now they will have to learn the slow and hard way – by me telling them one person at a time. And I will do it.

So basically – I need to be more strategic about the brand that is ME! First mistake made. Whew! Glad I don’t need to worry about when that will happen anymore.

And I have a job, and some stability and a pay check! So that is awesome. Yeah. Me.

The Heat is ON!

So here is Baxter chilling on my bed, after a walk that was cut short due to fatigue. Of course he is adorable and smiling, but his mouth is open because he is a panting monster on the verge of overheating after our 5 block walk to Thunderbird Café. And the walk is downhill.

Austin has a surprising number of hills. I guess because I am from Chicago, I think anywhere I travel or live will be flat until I see it is not. They actually have “Hill Country” to the West of here – not too far and people to camp there. It is supposed to be scenic.

But the heat is on my mind now, because – it is hot enough were you need to take it into account with your plans. Ie – we could go to Scholz Beer Garden, but it is still 90 degrees and we would sweat our asses off and be baked alive or its sooo hot today – maybe we should see a movie. Like the frigid temps in Chicago, people in Austin include mother nature in their plans like an annoying Great Aunt whose needs you need to work around so you can get your fun on.

I really have got to get used to this heat. It’s suffocating. You can tell from the photo Baxter is shorn short. This is my fourth attempt, and finally I am getting the groove. (Thank you for the grooming tip Amy!)

Baxter is sporting a butch-cut and it is still too crazy hot for him to walk more than 5 blocks without panting and stopping to drop frog-legged and chest down in the bushy grass under a tree. Usually it is my favorite pose of his that signals he is exhausted from playing outside and chasing the ball. But after only 10 minutes outside in Austin, you can see why I would be hurrying him home after this respite. It is 90 degrees this Friday night at 8:15 p.m. and HU-mid.
So tonight I am in practicing my piano and writing.

Sounds lame, but I am working on my career plan. I want to make this time in Austin count, because I do miss everyone back home.

Amy and Judy's Austin Adventure

It was so nice to have Amy and my mom here for the weekend. We have a lot of fun, I included pictures of us on our Duck Tour. It was hard saying goodbye to them. I miss that support system being so close.

I started to think about what I really wanted here in Austin and what I was doing. If I am honest with myself, and sometimes I am not - because it can be too scary to look your dreams straight in the eye. Or for me it has been, and that is the fear I am working to overcome with my time here in Austin.

Last week I started 100 Days of Julie to recognize the fearful shiver that my body utters, take a deep breath, intentionally and mentally address it and move it aside in my mind.

During my 100 Days, I will be enjoying writing when the inspiration strikes, and not feeling guilty about that - and make the writing of those thoughts a priority. Inspiration comes to me all the time, and I have been texting it to myself, using my voice recorder or a notebook to secure these thoughts, but I haven't revisited them. Writing a rought draft of them as is, will help me out.

I will be sewing and speaking Spanish and have brushed up on my piano by then too. It is just a matter of priorities, like everything else in life. And in the next 100 Days - I will be putting myself first.

And last week, my first week , was great for me. I had a great week at work, but I just told myself I belonged and accepted more and more responsibility for things. I signed up for another improv class and went to a couple performances and I loved it.

The ease of settling for a mediocre life and numbing myself with television in the evenings is the path I am skipping away from with concentrated intention. I will start posting more recipes too. I cooked today and it felt good - but I don't want to over do it with food - just enough to keep me organized with healthy meals for the week!

So after experiencing the first 7 days of the 100 Days of Julie. I am feeling more my goofy and spirited self. The layers of grime are being rubbed off. Eventually I will be the shiny penny I was before I made some terrible detours in my 20s!